Artistic Anarchy

When I grow up, I'll go down the river to the Singing Sea

Month: December, 2012

SoTD: 20th Century Towers – Death Cab for Cutie.

by johndsykes86

Just feels appropriate for my mood.  Sod off, i’m not depressed 🙂

we’ll correct collegiate mistakes
a shower of formal ideals
completely soused
the hearts on our sleeves,
as they drowned we could hear them screaming
“oh, what a tragic way to see our final days.” 

I attempt to talk up the town:
“the answers are in the arches of the 20th century towers
and in comfortable cars in motion.”
and yet it still remains, this incessent refrain:
“you’re just like the rest. your restlessness makes you lazy.” 

keeping busy is just wasting time
and i’ve wasted what little he gave me
(all around)
i know the conscious choice was crystal clear,
to clean the slate of former years
when i sang softly in your ear and tied these arms around you.


(Lets try this again) These gifs is relevant to today

by johndsykes86

abd-183 ibragif

SoTD: Time’s Scar – Video Game Orchestra

by johndsykes86

From the video game, Chrono Cross. Totally awesome..

On going back home…

by johndsykes86

The internet, like life on planet Earth, is a strange, vast, and wondrous place. A tweet forced me to go back and take a virtual look at a place where I havent physically stepped foot on since the early nineties.

The tweet alone seemed a weird microcosm of the feeling on the ground in the West Adams/Culver City district that somehow stayed the same despite the passing of time. Racial tensions still causing issues almost 20 years after I left and rearing their ugly head in everyday life. Where as I was born and raised with a respect and love for everyone, it seemed way out of context with where I grew up.  So curiosity finally won out and I decided to take a trip via Google Maps.

This is the corner, ladies and gentleman, is where I spent the majority of my early childhood. Not literally, figuratively.

It has not changed much since I left in 1994 or so I thought at first look. The gas station is gone but the adjacent Laundromat is there. Sundays were spent there playing Pac-Man while my mom would do laundry and talk with others. The market is still there under a different name, Ranch Bodego. It used to be an ABC Supermarket. Home to my first crime at the young age of 4. I stole a Cadbury Egg from the checkout counter after hearing yet another no from my mom, I didnt know what stealing was at that time. I sure as hell knew afterward.

The old burnt-out lot in the northwest corner of the map was one of the liquor stores owned by Korean-Americans and one of the first on my block to get burned out. I barely remember the owner, if I do at all. Memory has a tricky way of not being concrete or reliable. What does stick out in mind about that store is April 29th, 1992.

I remember celebrating my birthday in the backyard of our home, then a couple of hours later seeing my mom running in the house with huge bags*.  The acrid smell of burning cinder and smoke fanning out and engulfing everything and the weird scent of different types of spirits leaking from the bag, the roaring sirens of the LAFD trying to fight the blaze. I only vaguely remember watching the TV seeing police officers smiling. None of it, the mess of noise and fire, the officers, the angry adults, everyone leaving my party before I was able to open gifts…none of that seemed off to me until that moment of the sirens blaring.

That, in retrospect, seemed the right note enough

*which is totally ironic and hypocritical from the anecdote about my ass being whooped for stealing a Cadbury egg…but my mom got away with liquor, clothes and food? NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE screams my inner sore-butt-but-totally-en-tuned-to-the-hypocrisy 6 year old self. Fight on, little dude. 

Directly next door to the laundromat is the aforementioned childhood home. First of many, unfortunately, but the first nonetheless.

The original white and green paint has been covered over, but I can tell by the trees that were small when I was a wee one. I actually have pictures of me and my sister as a toddler near one of those trees but I cant find one with both of us. So you’ll just get to stare at my sister instead.

I want to say that one of our family members actually planted the tree. Again, memory serves to be a foil to any certainty.  Highly doubt that we did. Trees look too big to be some thing done 20+ years ago.

As much as I will wax nostalgia about this neighborhood, I’m glad I didnt stay here. That’s not to say I was happy when my mom told us that we’d be leaving. Well not so much told as showing up for a plane in LA one day, boxes packed up with labels to some foreign land that I only knew of by a map. But leaving

It was not easy to move. It never was.  I was mad at my mom for a long time after she moved to Atlanta in 1994. It felt like leaving a part of yourself there to linger. Going back in a physical sense would do nothing because the roots that were there died off a long time ago. I never really settled in Georgia despite being there for longer than I stayed in California. A lot of that can be attributed to moving a lot in Georgia. Despite being in the same city, I lived in 5 different homes before I was old enough to move out on my own. In a sense, I am homeless. Where some people have childhood friends and roots, I don’t really have much in the way of that. At least not in my early childhood.

My life after moving from California seemed like a sort of endless, restless shuffle between schools, homes, and people that somehow wasn’t completely jumbled in my brain but didn’t stick out in any particular way. Now that’s not to say that I didnt have friends I counted (and still do count on).

Friends that I grew up with moved and I lost contact with them or I moved and lost contact with them.  People grew up, forgot about me and I them and still some people are not around to remember or forget. While I’m not 100% sure that I would still turn out the way I did, I still wish I stayed in California.  I am just a happier person here and do not, even for a wink, regret making the move. Its (and this is so clique to say) being a bit more complete in a way.

It’s weird to see my old neighborhood in detail to the point that I seriously could relive my life on a map. But it also serves to remind me that things do change. That places, people, and even your own memories are not constant and concrete.  But even when they change, they dont completely go away. They hide, waiting for you to find them again. A reminder than time really does go on, with or without you.

SotD: Please Turn – Little Dragon

by johndsykes86

My favorite track from their latest album, Ritual Union, that came out last year.
See also: her work with Koop

SotD: Find Me The Pulse of The Universe – Laetitia Sadier

by johndsykes86

Good for a cold (relatively), sunny December in the greatest state in the Union.

Might also need this for the end of the world tomorrow.

Not really.

You were equipped, you were unique
Were suffused in mathematics
Hey Sue, the mathematician
Your views are unimpeded
Hey Sue, the trigonometric
Forever unlocking your head.

Fill it up to the brim, fill it to the top
Generous, bountiful, prodigal, abundant
Channelling deep connections
From one world to the next
Beautiful like art, another human landmark.

Curiousity, intuition are good guides
The idea that in the search for nature’s secrets,
The discovery,
Envelops more conundrum in the belly of her flow
Glimpses of a world of pure thought
That few will ever know

Let’s Start Changing the World (or mine) Now.

by johndsykes86

Dont start tomorrow (or on the first of the year) to do what you can do today, right?

I’ve had a lot of ideas that I havent allowed to fully cook in my little Johnathon brain and a lot of chinks in my armor that could do with some filling.

So why not get those ideas out now. Why wait for some event or arbitrary date?

Get out of the country
Learn a language
Write more
Trust more
Tweet less
Love the fuck out of everyone
Lose weight
Stop carrying weight
Take more risks
Build more meaningful relations

I think that’s really all I want to accomplish in the short term. Now I just need to figure out how to do so and how to hold myself accountable.

SotD: Guns and Horses – Ellie Goulding (Live & Acoustic from San Fran)

by johndsykes86

<p><a href=”″>In the Open: Ellie Goulding – Guns and Horses</a> from <a href=””>In the Open</a> on <a href=””>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>


Please. Take me with you.

SotD: So Many Details – Toro Y Moi

by johndsykes86

Found out about this guy last year…and this song is amazing.
About 20 listens in and its still sexy and smooth.

Just like me, hahahaaaaaaaa

But seriously, listen.

SotD: Title Song – Death Cab for Cutie

by johndsykes86

I just love the slow build up. That’s all

Happy Case of the Manic Mondays!


Left uninspired by the crust of railroad earth
That touched the lead to the pages of your manuscript
I took my thumb off the concrete and saved up all my strength
To hammer pillars for a picket fence
It wasn’t quite what is seemed: a lack of pleasantries
(My able body isn’t what it used to be)
I must admit I was charmed by your advances
Your advantage left me helplessly into you

Talking how the group had begun to splinter
And I could taste your lipstick on the filter

I tried my best to keep my distance from your dress
But call-response overturns convictions every time
My memory cannot recall: a wave of alcohol
We shared a cigarette and shaved the hours off

Lushing with hallway congregation
My best judgment signed its resignation

I rushed this, we moved too fast
And tripped into the guest room

I rushed this, we moved too fast
And tripped into the guest room